This morning I read the words written by a former columnist in our local paper. A year ago she was diagnosed with brain cancer. Tragically she has lost her independence and resides in a care home where she is "waiting to die".

Whoa! My heart breaks and my brain turns up the noise.

There is a lot of noise in my head. I am a thinker. I worry. I analyze a lot! I imagine that if someone were to illustrate my thoughts it would look like one of those insane traffic circles somewhere overseas where rules and painted lines and enforcement give way to speedy agile drivers whizzing to their destinations with luck and a death wish sharing the passenger seat.

The ADD brain is a blessing and a curse.

Anyway, I have thought about it for some time but after reading that sad article today, I decided to start a blog. As my eyes poured over the words of the former award winning columnist, I was reminded once again that while life presents you with joy, it also kicks you in the teeth sometimes. I am terrified of getting sick and dying before I see all my children graduate and travel and find true love and create life and accomplish independence and so on and so on. I am terrified my love will leave me suddenly like my girlfriends husband left her. So suddenly on a Tuesday while coaching his son in hockey. His heart just decided to stop. WTF? Simply put, I want to live until I am damn good and ready to do something else. And I want my love to live as long as I damn well decide it's enough. Did you catch that....as long as "I" decide. Just kidding.

But...in the meantime and because I don't have a whole lot of say on the matter, I am going to write some shit down. Keep a record of the life I have left. It sure as heck better be a long long time.

Currently I have pictures to show what my life looks like, well the good parts anyway. But, I don't have words. And I like words. I will likely use a lot of them.